Grace

Despite some rough times I've experienced more recent and far long past, I know that not only is it part of my journey but its had a profound effect on me. As if figuring out where I fit in during this period in my life of prepetual trial and error its been the day to day events and encountered relationships that it truly transformative.

I recently had to come to terms with the fact that even though I am so eager to work literally anywhere, the reality is that my philosophy needs adjusting. Granted, it was quite a shock to find out that the job that I had lined up for the summer at the Fund was not what I originally expected. But that's the point right? Nothing does go as 'planned' especially when you assume or expect a certain outcome or result to evolve.

I'm often reminded of the wise words of my Mom - which is also helpful to keep in mind for most areas in life. It took a good amount of hard work, time and effort to get you into college (among other experiences), so the same thing applies for finding your ideal job and/or working with an organization you are passionate about. Although I consider myself to be an intelliengent individual, I guess even folks like me need a reminder.

Money does not grow on trees in the real world. A tree might bear fruit, but the fiscal rewards and other benefits only become of us using the fruit and the tree to our advantage. (Ironically enough I saw that analogy come to life this weekend when I drove to Amherst, Massachusetts.)

I had waited for Friday to come all week because I was excited to see Gravity in theaters with my Mom. Not only that, this past week had been difficult: emotionally, physically and mentally. I needed to find solace in sometime totally unrelated to past activities this week (i.e. job searching, networking, organizing my house...my life). My fondness for space and recent experience meeting NASA former and present staff people at SpaceFest this summer, I was intrigued to see a story about astronauts, even a fictitious one. Besides the superb acting, kudos to Ms. Bullack and Mr. Clooney, I was captivated by the music, images and overall feeling of hope.

Saturday was full of culture. Jersey City, a city continuously growing in rich diversity and cultural attractiveness for both visitors and residences, its no wonder why so many people want to be here. As a kid I never expected the city to become what it is today but living here at present makes me excited about its future.

I owe gratitude to my Mom since I may not have had a inspiring day if we hadn't gone to the Jersey City Artists Studio Tour upon her suggestion. I met so many different artists, listened to some local music, tasted & supported a local school (via bake sale) saw some dynamic artist works and most importantly started to brainstorm entrepreneurial ideas. Later that night, we went to see Red Molly and Brother Sun at Sanctuary Concerts in Chattham, NJ. Between the music, the venue's staff and overall atmosphere it was such a climactic ending to a unexpected day.

Sunday. Sunday was...spiritual. Didn't go to church as planned but had the most sacred experience in a long time. On the drive up I-91 through CT to Amherst was a bit disheartening with endless down pours and the gloom & doom clouds hovering over us it was easy to say, "let's turn around and do this another day." No. I was determined and in desperate need to escape. Could not have picked a better time and place.

As soon as we arrived the flood gates ceased to remain open. We drove through UMass campus and I felt so nostalgic. The colors of the leaves all around us was overwhelming. Using both an atlas and satellite GPS on my tablet led us to backroads, country scenery and an apple farm. We picked our own apples in a field surrounded by fall foliage that would stop you in your tracks and create such a humbling feeling that results in a few tears shed. We snuck a quite snack in the car once we paid for our Empires and a slow shower began. 45 minutes traveling westward through the towns of  Haydenville, Chesterfield, Worthington, Cummington, Goshen and Williamsburg.

The weekend ended with a home cooked meal, lasagna. A dish I haven't had in years was much more than delicious but left a sense of new beginning. I see this weekend of 'newness' in a different perspective. You might call it enlightenment, awareness, insight or perhaps a element of nirvana. I think it was grace both from based upon faith understanding of the word and the moral understanding. Grace, simple to the most miraculous acts or circumstances, is taken for granted. I truly hope that the grace that was bestowed and continues to be given can provide someone like me the tools to deal with the day to day and all that becomes of my future.

Last Trip to Say Goodbye

Normally I wouldn't dwell on something that is ending and instead I would take a more optimistic approach. However, I've been very blessed to have extra time out at the house in Sag Harbor. I know I'm so lucky to even have a place by the beach that is like home away from home. Mom and I agree that the continuous visits and summers we've had out there are so precious. Things could have been very different after my Dad passed away almost 10 years ago now but Uncle Rene being a good Catholic bishop and good family member told us that we were welcomed out there anytime. He kept his promise even during this time of hardship with his condition (diagnosed with dementia).

Despite that sad fact we did have a good time this past weekend. For two gals with plans to have no plans or expectations did pretty great. Going with the flow pays off sometimes. We decided to go to the Farmer's Market in downtown Sag Harbor (overpriced but nice to hang out and meet local farmers) where we did get pickles and real cow milk! Later Mom surprised me when we drove out to Cedar Point Light house. It sits on a small peninsula, sand strip within a secure state park. It was really great to observe the camp grounds and the possibly for future trips that wouldn't include the house.

The walk out wasn't as long partially since we didn't have anything better to do and because we needed some exercise. Its a stone non-working lighthouse. I loved looking out across the bay to the North Folk and looking the opposite side to see the town and harbor. So peaceful out there...

I almost forgot to mention our first evening. Friday night was beautiful: not too hot or cold. We cooked up some beef soft-tacos and took a trip down to Big Oloffs ice cream for a night treat. We sat outside eating our ice cream admiring the boats docked in the harbor. Longtime friend from the last trip out to Sag Harbor, the Coastal Drifter III was still in port.

The rest of the day (Saturday) was spontaneous. We decided to keep driving. Map in hand and hope to find another lighthouse with drove through Springs on route 40 and came back into Easthampton on route 41 (on the opposite side of town) passing the Arts and Crafts fair in Fireplace. Later we went to Woldoff estates winery for a tasting. No tasting past whenever they decided to stop that but we stood listening to some live music, drank some white wine and flirted with the busboy :)

Afterwards we drove out to Montauk to get new sweatpants (The End on the butt...I got my first pair waaaay b4 Juicy was plastered on girls butts) and of course Lobster bisque soup from Gosman's. Ride back was a little wet but we managed just fine.

Sunday was a much slower paced day. Melancholy feelings on the last day of the trip to Sag Harbor were a little unsettling. Thinking about all the memories I've made over the years since my Dad has been gone and the good-ole days when the family was together. I tried to keep it together while we spent the afternoon on Long Beach (the bay not the ocean) but I couldn't help my emotions. I was happy Mom was there to comfort me and simply listen without judgement. All in all the end of the evening was so worth the tears. We played cards and Sudoku, BBQ (great fire that later we had to manually distinguish), ate, laughed, packed the car and drove away.

I hope one day in the future I'll remember all the great moments instead of remembering the pain of leaving. I'm sure in time...

Kingman Bluegrass and Folk Festival

What started out to be a very mellow day turned out to be a very long and exhausting day. After a comfy stay-at-home-to-watch-a-movie night with my buddy, Kristi (we watched "Almost Famous" one of my faves) I was unprepared for what happened next. As if the ride to get to the RFK stadium from New York Avenue metro stop wasn't taxing enough the walk over to Kingman Island was quite a hike. It was nice that I got there fairly early because I got the chance to see the farmer's market in action. I even bought a few apples which made me feel good - helping out the local farmers.

Another scenic stroll into the Kingman Island Park and through the woodsy brush I made it to a small clearing of land surrounded by the Anacostia. The trailer stage was already set up and tuning while the volunteer leaders were scurrying around to allocate jobs for everyone. It was quiet until about 1245pm when streams of people and food trucks came rolling into the clearing. My first slot was working at the "drinks" ticket booth. It was very busy throughout the shift so I was grateful to be relieved of duty at 2pm.  It was nice to have some down time to listen to the bands and people watch. I didn't have another shift until 6pm which I later regretted especially since the rain came down pretty roughly later on in the day. For the meantime it was nice to walk around and experience DC's version of a folk fest. My only other experience was Falcon Ridge up in New York state nearly three years ago. I was so delighted to hear from Daddio that we'd (him, me and Mom) would be going to Falcon Ridge this year! WOOT! But thats not until July so this is a nice buffer

I continued to come back to the booths to see if the volunteers needed any extra hands. The "drinks" booth and the beer tap booth needed hands but everyone was so busy it was hard to help. Sam, the coordinator, was bopping around with his own agenda so I just stayed close in case someone needed some time to relax. I'm glad I hung around because I met a bunch of nice people. It was especially nice to transition from my break time to the t-shirt booth since when I was taking on my 6-8 shift it started to downpour. Always good to be under a tent in that situation and boy was I happy. However, word to the wise - never wear comfortable shoes WITHOUT socks! My feet were frozen by the time I left around 730pm. So many people left due to the weather so there wasn't a lot of action at the booths. Getting on the shuttle back to the metro was my saving grace. It was especially nice to meet a fellow TWC intern, Adam Woods, who worked with LivingClassrroom the nonprofit organization hosting the festival.

All in all a good time at Kingman Island. 

 HIPPIE!

 Demi the lovable dog

 Beer line after the beer truck replaced the beers on tap...didn't last long.

Let the heavens open.

Monday was our "graduation" and commencement for all TWC interns. It was interesting to participate in the closing ceremony for a program that just started. Time did blow by and I'm happy that I tried to make the best of every moment. I've put myself out there more this semester than any other semester in my life. I've made some great connections and friendships as well as create some new goals for myself. We shall see if I continue to reap the benefits of this program as an alum. Portfolio DONE, Class finished today (Tues. May 2) and Thursday will be my last day as an intern with The McGuiness Group. Its no wonder why I feel some sense of relief but also sorrow. Its the bittersweet syndrome.

Tonight after class and goodbye with some colleagues a group of us went out to Chinatown for drinks and dinner. It was nice to talk with some of them outside of business. I like getting to know them and it makes me feel like I've accomplished reaching out to others in return for advice, education and getting to know other cultures. As mentioned at our dinner our class was very diverse as far as country origin, race, ages, and backgrounds. It helped us realize how privileged we were to have had such an experience. It was great meeting all of you and I hope to visit most of you in the future! Good luck!