Grace

Despite some rough times I've experienced more recent and far long past, I know that not only is it part of my journey but its had a profound effect on me. As if figuring out where I fit in during this period in my life of prepetual trial and error its been the day to day events and encountered relationships that it truly transformative.

I recently had to come to terms with the fact that even though I am so eager to work literally anywhere, the reality is that my philosophy needs adjusting. Granted, it was quite a shock to find out that the job that I had lined up for the summer at the Fund was not what I originally expected. But that's the point right? Nothing does go as 'planned' especially when you assume or expect a certain outcome or result to evolve.

I'm often reminded of the wise words of my Mom - which is also helpful to keep in mind for most areas in life. It took a good amount of hard work, time and effort to get you into college (among other experiences), so the same thing applies for finding your ideal job and/or working with an organization you are passionate about. Although I consider myself to be an intelliengent individual, I guess even folks like me need a reminder.

Money does not grow on trees in the real world. A tree might bear fruit, but the fiscal rewards and other benefits only become of us using the fruit and the tree to our advantage. (Ironically enough I saw that analogy come to life this weekend when I drove to Amherst, Massachusetts.)

I had waited for Friday to come all week because I was excited to see Gravity in theaters with my Mom. Not only that, this past week had been difficult: emotionally, physically and mentally. I needed to find solace in sometime totally unrelated to past activities this week (i.e. job searching, networking, organizing my house...my life). My fondness for space and recent experience meeting NASA former and present staff people at SpaceFest this summer, I was intrigued to see a story about astronauts, even a fictitious one. Besides the superb acting, kudos to Ms. Bullack and Mr. Clooney, I was captivated by the music, images and overall feeling of hope.

Saturday was full of culture. Jersey City, a city continuously growing in rich diversity and cultural attractiveness for both visitors and residences, its no wonder why so many people want to be here. As a kid I never expected the city to become what it is today but living here at present makes me excited about its future.

I owe gratitude to my Mom since I may not have had a inspiring day if we hadn't gone to the Jersey City Artists Studio Tour upon her suggestion. I met so many different artists, listened to some local music, tasted & supported a local school (via bake sale) saw some dynamic artist works and most importantly started to brainstorm entrepreneurial ideas. Later that night, we went to see Red Molly and Brother Sun at Sanctuary Concerts in Chattham, NJ. Between the music, the venue's staff and overall atmosphere it was such a climactic ending to a unexpected day.

Sunday. Sunday was...spiritual. Didn't go to church as planned but had the most sacred experience in a long time. On the drive up I-91 through CT to Amherst was a bit disheartening with endless down pours and the gloom & doom clouds hovering over us it was easy to say, "let's turn around and do this another day." No. I was determined and in desperate need to escape. Could not have picked a better time and place.

As soon as we arrived the flood gates ceased to remain open. We drove through UMass campus and I felt so nostalgic. The colors of the leaves all around us was overwhelming. Using both an atlas and satellite GPS on my tablet led us to backroads, country scenery and an apple farm. We picked our own apples in a field surrounded by fall foliage that would stop you in your tracks and create such a humbling feeling that results in a few tears shed. We snuck a quite snack in the car once we paid for our Empires and a slow shower began. 45 minutes traveling westward through the towns of  Haydenville, Chesterfield, Worthington, Cummington, Goshen and Williamsburg.

The weekend ended with a home cooked meal, lasagna. A dish I haven't had in years was much more than delicious but left a sense of new beginning. I see this weekend of 'newness' in a different perspective. You might call it enlightenment, awareness, insight or perhaps a element of nirvana. I think it was grace both from based upon faith understanding of the word and the moral understanding. Grace, simple to the most miraculous acts or circumstances, is taken for granted. I truly hope that the grace that was bestowed and continues to be given can provide someone like me the tools to deal with the day to day and all that becomes of my future.