March MADness

9March was definitely a busy month professionally, socially and otherwise. In honor of March Madness I can say it was quite madding at times. One of the niceities at work was that the whole office filled out brackets in light of the month's college basketball games. I was partial to Kansas - who I believe won last year - and St. Louis - because...well, just because they are the under-underdogs and my good friend Jay lives there. Neither of which got very far, especially St. Louis but it was something to follow outside of all the other craziness going on in my life.

My colleague who works with me on Sandy cases were happy that our months of outreach paid off. We now have a steady stream of clients calling that are referrals from various agencies we've met and worked with recently. The upside is that we're bound to make quota for the Sandy contract. The downside is there's no quick-fix cases, only complicated ones. It goes without saying that 15+ months after the storm there's a strong likelihood that they'll have a multitude of other needs. Our office had a "site visit" which is a fancy term to describe an occassional drop in visit by people from the Administration office to check our overall progress for each grant and the status on each employee's cases/files. We found out that as of April 1st my colleague and I are working full-time for Sandy so we can dedicate a little more time to these cases. With that we become salaried employees and get full benefits so YIPPEE!

Socially, well I feel like I've been such a social butterfly as my good friend Keith would say. Beginning-mid March was Hoboken's St. Patrick's Day celebration called LepreCon. Bascially yet another excuse for Hobokeians to get blastered for consectutive weekends, wait they already do that so I guess its in light of a holiday which calls for obsessive drinking to occur and publically accepted. My friend Dan and I hung out at the Panera on Washington to watch the drunk people stumble by. Two weeks later was Part 2 and my friend Jodie and I and later Dan came to bar hop, play darts against a funny and drunk bartender and create a coalition (see proof in picture below).

I also broke my music funk when I went to a 90s Shibuya-mei asian pop band Cibo Matto at a venue I'd been dying to go to, the Brooklyn Bowl. It's an interesting place that I thought would be a nice place to hang out with the JC gang. Later that same night I experienced the true "club scene" in Downtown Jersey City at O'Hara's. Basically the setting is a group of semi-diverse (mainly hispanic and blacks) of young (teens to 20-30 somethings) people stand around while a dj (no name) insists on playing horribly awkward, dancing unfreindly tunes. Meanwhile the bartender is giving wildly inappropriately named drinks on the house (Pink Pussy) out to our colleagues after they've all had waaaay too much to drink as it is but....it was a memoriable time so what the hecks (as some foreign friends say).

March was also the time for love! My Mom and I went back to our old church in Montclair, NJ to witness Mary Frances and Adrianna marriage after 20+ years being together and having raised a beautfiul daughter. Mia, their daughter, shocked me wearing these outrageously high stilettos and accompanied the pianst with her wonderful musical talent playing the violin to the popular love song "Thousand Years" by that Christina P....somebody. It was also a reunion of sorts because all the former congregates and our friends came to share in this happy day - long story short, there were issues with the choir ppl after the director left, and dispute about an organ, issues with a new rector...complications = people leave the church. Can you say DRAMA?!?!

The JC gang tried this happy hour/karaoke at VB3 near Newport. Happy hour wasn't bad, I even got a rejection from the bartender who I thought was available and turned out to be married, he was nice about it. But my friend Elizabeth and I were a bit pissed that the karaoke didn't start in a timely manner. It wasn't until about 11pm that there was even a test of the technical system. Adios to that.

The last event worth mentioning was the Women of Letters show. I went to a somewhat seedy area in Brooklyn - a bunch of warehouses, dimly lit, alleys, etc -to this place called the Bellhouse. My main draw was Edie Falco, famous for her roles as Carmella in The Sopranos and lead as and in Nurse Betty. I also was extremely pissed that NO ONE recognized Women's History Month.  I feel somewhat proud that I did support the historic and modern achievement of women in this country.

In Carmella Sopranos' honor my Mom and I went to Holsten's after the wedding in Montclair. I shared this decadent coffee ice cream sundae. It was so heavenly!

Till my lastest post about weekend brunches and the beginning spring....

JC Gang

I met my friend Bella a few summers ago through the Downtown Jersey City Meetup. Us single gals (then) seemed to have been magnetized to one another and spent the whole evening, into the wee hours of morning, together. After that we've stayed in contact with each other via Facebook and after almost 1 1/2 years now actually seeing each other we had a reunion. Only to find out that she was changing careers (corporate finance to graphic design) and moving to Australia. Although it was a lot to process I was happy and in awe of her. She has always been an inspiration to me. Someone who knows what she wants, feels comfortable with who she is and always open to possibilities. 

One of her best qualities is knowing people and connecting them through various groups she's associated with. And she did just that! She introduced me to her friend Hillary who then introduced me to her friends (who are also Bella's friends) when she invited me to her New Year's Eve shingig. They are forever known as the Jersey City Gang. They all know each other from school (high school or college or both), work or other groups (Zogsports, Meetup, etc). What's fasinating to me is how together and supportive they all are to one another. They're all looking to enjoy themselves and leave the drama at home. Its as if my goals for this year fell into my lap. So how can you ignore what is staring you in the face?

Its been so nice to have other people to rely on to get together and do stuff. It seems like that is so simple but I cannot tell you how difficult it has been to get ANYONE old friends of mine or new people I meet to do ANYTHING. It is sad and ridiculous but its taught me to continue to go out on my own. I have to be my own best friend and advocate. That doesn't mean I shouldn't continue to try and give others a chance but I don't want to get stuck or self-inflict sorrow unto myself. I need to keep in mind what I want and go after it. It comes back to the Bella mentality. You want it, go get it yourself.

New Beginnings into the New Year

Since the summer my main goal has been to find a job that fits my aspirations and attitude about how I can help make the world a better place...blah, blah blah. Pretty noble idea but in practice it takes hard work rather than just passion for what you ultimately want to happen = be employed!

I've heard and seen a lot of my colleagues before and after graduating college get in a funk. As much as I empathize I can't help but feel a twing of annoyance. There's is overwhelming mentality that nothing is possible when it should be the exact opposite. It derives from this idea that just because our economy and employee-employer dynampics has changed in the last decade that the world has turned against us. But the truth is this is how it is for those of us "starting out," the twenty-somethings, recent grads or high school educated that have been working for a fews years (or not).  In my experience I've seen and heard more excuses and haven't seen enough action. You do have to think outside the norm and it requires a little more effort than what is "obvious" to 'most people.' Sending out cover letters and resumes via email isn't going to cut it and neither is waiting for a inevitable negative response if you aren't doing something else of substance to elevate your applicable status. 

This is not to say that it isn't difficult and stressful because it is, VERY much so. In the last six months I've had quite a few outbursts of anger and tears but when I remember to put my situation into a broader perspective, I realize that I am really trying and putting myself out there, I'm trying everyday to make new contacts through networking or casual interactions with people OUTSIDE my HOUSE and BEDROOM, making endlesss cold calls, volunteering with organizations that are doing what I want to do professionally or have a mission I strongly believe in, etc, etc.

Its not going to be easy and I think for most young people or people who recently lost their jobs have no idea that they have pigeon holed themselves into thinking one particular way instead of being open to the bigger picture. It was challenging the first month out of school after embarking on an amazing two week 4,700 mile roadtrip cross-country to only ended up miserable in New Brunswick, shaking up with five immature college students in a "boarding house" and a job working with people a few years out of college who haven't experienced much outside of college. Poor management, lack of maturity, disrespectful attitudes and ill mannered behavior I was fed up and came home to Jersey City after two months. First "failure" post-graduation and it seemed to get perpetually worse after that. I kept applying for jobs the way I had been - online - and slowly branching to cold calling, sending my materials via mail, and other ways of connecting with organizations posting positions online. In the meantime I was writing and editor for a blog that I thought was a "hired" to help a start up magazine get exposure and maybe get paid to write. Didn't last long considering a number of the reasons I had left the job in New Brunswich seemed to reappear with this new "job" - turns out was an internship which was never brought to my attention in the interview process. So after two hits in a row that was reason to give up right? Wrong. 

I continued to seek other opportunities within my community. I volunteered with the League of Women Voters helping them with planning and organizing an event that led to meeting a contact that hooked me up with a temporary position at The Brennan Center for Justice. In addition to volunteering with the League, I applied for to be a member of a Development and Fundraising Committee with a Dress for Success affiliate called Suits for Success in Jersey City. The Development Director saw great potential and offered me the position immediately. The perk for her was that I helped them with their annual Gala before my official work for the Committee started. I also helped out at my church: teaching Sunday School, volunteered for the Silent Auction at the GCVV Cathedral Arts Festival, joined a small prayer group, serving the homeless and hungry at the Breakfast Plus Program and joined the choir for a few events. In the mist of doing all the craziness and constant changing/evolving/reinventing myself in the process, I landed an interview for a more permanent position and was offered the job. It did take them over two months to request an interview but the point is I never gave up. 

With all that being said my temp position as Development Associate with The Brennan Center for Justice (BC) was such a good experience both in the field and to see how a well organized and successful nonprofit works internally. Through my horrific experience canvassing over the summer opened my eyes to the need for people like myself that can get others to contribute financially. While at BC I pushed myself to overcome the uncomfortable feelings that araise when something is new and put myself out there. As a result, I learned a lot and proved that I am unique.  Luckily for me, within the 1 1/2 months I was conducting gift processing, "interviewing" staff, making new contacts and investigating both the general and specific aspects of fundraising I found my calling. Not to mention the working environment at BC helped solidify what I really need to succeed and be inspired to do what I want to do: supportive co-workers. I'm so gratefully to have met and work with everyone on the development team at BC: Thanks to Anna, Vivien, Jen, Jaemin, John, Diana and Charles for such a great experience!

Fortunately for me, I started my next job at the Community Health Law Project. Ironically - and unplanned or expected - I landed my first two positions within my field: political science. But the best part about the journey after graduation up to this point is that everything is really up to me. I have control over how I deal with my decisions and that I also learned that when I don't have control that if I'm open I can learn so much more than if I let fear steer the wheel.

A Walk Through the Modern Day Pumpkin Patch

Two weeks ago was another trip to a new place: Sleepy Hallow.  Now, I've never read the book nor did I really remember all the details of Ichabod's story in the feature film with Johnny Depp. So although it was nice to visit this legendary and spooky town I wish I had done more research. However, we didn't end up spending time in the actual town.

The main motivation for our drive north into New York state was to go pumpkin picking and detour to Sleepy Hallow because it was along the way. I was excited to surprise my mom going to the Sleepy Hallow Lighthouse since its one of the only pleasantries I know she truly enjoys both in experience and decor. Luckily, I checked out the website and found that Sunday was the last day to tour the lighthouse until the end of spring next year. As expected she was touched I thought of such an activity and I was glad especially because of the view of all the fall colors on the trees throughout the park. Pictureque!


 Late in the afternoon and running empty from a meager breakfast we ate and watched some of NFL games at a local bar. Despite the menu's specials were pretty much out food never tasted that good! I was happy we ate least had some good times prior to getting to the pumpkin farm quite late...well, before it closed. I guess you can't have it all, but you can pout.

Pumpkin picking, going to the Christmas tree farm we've gone to since I was a toddler, Easter egg hunting...none of the childhood memories are brought to life in the same way anymore. It bothers me because I went through a lot of loss and challenging life experiences at a young age so holding onto the few events that bring a huge smile to my face and warmth in my heart are too important to "grow up" or "get over" as some care to phrase. They don't understand.

Hopefully I can come up with new traditions and find other activities that thrill me in the same way in the near future. We'll see what unfolds in the months to come.

Old Friends/Bookends

Time flies these days more quickly than I realize or I like but on a positive note, I get the opportunity to visit my friends more frequently. Well at least in theory. Its been over 1 1/2 years since I met Kristi during our semester at The Washington Center the Spring of 2012. She's been working in D.C. ever since and recently moved to Alexandria from her studio apartment in Columbia Heights. Despite the closeness to the city she expressed to me both on the phone and when I visited a few weeks ago that the old place was not as nice, roomy and comfortable as her current address.

Needing a break from my own stress and worries, I ventured south to the historic town of Alexandria. On what seemed like a deja vu moment, riding through the night in the mists of the threatening weather of Hurricane Irene, as we walked through a "monsoon of a storm" along the streets of Alexandria to her apartment. Drench in rain we took another adventure to restaurant known for their killer chili selection called Hard Times. Worth braving the weather, I think so! But right to bed once we returned.

 Sleeping in till 9am was usual for Ms. Cat but Kristi came downstairs ready to go outside for her daily run so I couldn't deny my own exercise goal. That week I had met with the Personal Training Manager at the Hoboken North NYSC gym, Nate, and was put to work doing total core and upper body strengthening circuits. So while Kristi hit the pavement I was breaking sweat in her apartment. And what is essential after a workout (besides a shower), food of course :P at a local joint up the street called Table Talk.

We walked down King Street to a place Kristi heard was great for fresh fish. It didn't disappoint especially the naunical decore. No meal is complete without dessert, so we made our way to the homemade ice cream shop next door. Mmmm yum! In addition to that delicious lunch we went out that evening to O'Connell's, an irish pub, and tried to do karoake at the Rock It Grill but due to my ill state we decided to call it a night. Next morning we spent hanging out, watching movies, painting our nails and vegging on the couch, with the exception of an evening walk and dinner at a bar downtown and a stop at a cake shop for dessert. So if you haven't already guessed, this 'vacation' was an excuse to stuff our faces the whole weekend.

I'm confident that Kristi and I will carry on the "Old Friends/Bookends" tradition, best told by the great Simon & Garfunkel. Never thought getting old could be so sweet. I mean as long as you got a friend to sit on a park bench with ya and grow old together what else do you need? .....donuts would be a nice touch :)

Back to Reality

Over the last month and a half I have undergone so many transitions and experiences. To start, I've on and off working part-time jobs - some paid some not - trying to keep myself busy and praying for the strength to overcome challenging personalities. All I can say is I don't know what I would've done without my true friends, like Keith. I visited him at the end of August to see his new apartment and catch up. It was a good thing I did because I had to witness for myself his nice digs.

My trip to Philadelphia was much more nostalgic than a casual meeting with an old friend. As it turns out I had alternative motives - guilty as charged - since I was so curious about the lives of other some people I knew back in high school who've continued their passion for music going "on tour." I mean how long has it been since my last basement show? What I found to be refreshing was finally seeing that atmosphere from a more objective perspective rather than a young girl crazed with the idea of getting the attention of a musician. It was a pleasant time laughing, conversing, singing along and most importantly staying in the present.

After that my working life - or lack there of - came to a screeching halt. So what else better to do than beg your friend, who has backstage access to New York Fashion Week, to brighten one's low spirit. Although I did buy a brand new dress for the occassion - since none of the out of date, frumpy and unflattering wardrobe I have would do for a NYFW Venexania show, or any NYFW show for that matter. I'm far too critical because as it turns out there were people wearing articles of clothing that should've never seen the light of day - WTFWYT?!?! Overall, it was great to see my friend Greg and sit in the 2nd row at the show; even got one of those goodie bags :) And of course as my technology curse proceeds me, Greg's phone deleted all the photos from the event...except for the few below. I guess I have to stalk Twitter to find any pictures taken during the Venexania show and see if we're in any of them.

But I did return to Lincoln Center right after the crowds and shows were over to get a make-over at the Allure Glamor Lounge. What an experience: beauty is pain, note to staff - don't allow the hotel you are renting space from use the air conditioner unless you want to deal with leaks in the ceiling and stop to enjoy the moment because life is short. At least I looked really great for the New York Elon Alumni event that evening. Did not expect to walk into a room with over 700+ alumni! PS I am so glad I had the opportunity to have a drink and relax in The Plaza bar. Can you say fancy?

Probably my fo-pa that I was let go at Blimpies. My plan all along was to leave for a week for the Duke University's Continuing Studies Nonprofit Management Certificate program in the middle of September before I took the part-time position but I guess everything happens for a reason. A learning experience none the less but more along the lines of experience with passive-aggressive management and leadership - or lack there of. The same could be said for some other side projects I'm involved with currently but that's a discussion for another day...

It was great going back to North Carolina having no responsibilities to academic work or college life other than what I signed up for with the Nonprofit Management Certificate program. Per usual, I reached out to a few peeps I knew were in the area - Jamie, Alice, etc. Of course there is never enough time to see everyone but I felt good to try because I did benefit especially in regards to reconnecting with Elon Alumni. Saw Jeff (2012) and his crew - Chris (2011), Cody (2012) and Mitch (2012) - at Fullsteam downtown and went to dinner and Locopops with Alice and Kit on Friday. Must say that I never thought about crazy flavored ice cream icicles - flavors like chocolate rosemary, pomegrante cognac and other weird stuff. I had simply salted caramel which was the perfect end to a great reunion.

Grace

Despite some rough times I've experienced more recent and far long past, I know that not only is it part of my journey but its had a profound effect on me. As if figuring out where I fit in during this period in my life of prepetual trial and error its been the day to day events and encountered relationships that it truly transformative.

I recently had to come to terms with the fact that even though I am so eager to work literally anywhere, the reality is that my philosophy needs adjusting. Granted, it was quite a shock to find out that the job that I had lined up for the summer at the Fund was not what I originally expected. But that's the point right? Nothing does go as 'planned' especially when you assume or expect a certain outcome or result to evolve.

I'm often reminded of the wise words of my Mom - which is also helpful to keep in mind for most areas in life. It took a good amount of hard work, time and effort to get you into college (among other experiences), so the same thing applies for finding your ideal job and/or working with an organization you are passionate about. Although I consider myself to be an intelliengent individual, I guess even folks like me need a reminder.

Money does not grow on trees in the real world. A tree might bear fruit, but the fiscal rewards and other benefits only become of us using the fruit and the tree to our advantage. (Ironically enough I saw that analogy come to life this weekend when I drove to Amherst, Massachusetts.)

I had waited for Friday to come all week because I was excited to see Gravity in theaters with my Mom. Not only that, this past week had been difficult: emotionally, physically and mentally. I needed to find solace in sometime totally unrelated to past activities this week (i.e. job searching, networking, organizing my house...my life). My fondness for space and recent experience meeting NASA former and present staff people at SpaceFest this summer, I was intrigued to see a story about astronauts, even a fictitious one. Besides the superb acting, kudos to Ms. Bullack and Mr. Clooney, I was captivated by the music, images and overall feeling of hope.

Saturday was full of culture. Jersey City, a city continuously growing in rich diversity and cultural attractiveness for both visitors and residences, its no wonder why so many people want to be here. As a kid I never expected the city to become what it is today but living here at present makes me excited about its future.

I owe gratitude to my Mom since I may not have had a inspiring day if we hadn't gone to the Jersey City Artists Studio Tour upon her suggestion. I met so many different artists, listened to some local music, tasted & supported a local school (via bake sale) saw some dynamic artist works and most importantly started to brainstorm entrepreneurial ideas. Later that night, we went to see Red Molly and Brother Sun at Sanctuary Concerts in Chattham, NJ. Between the music, the venue's staff and overall atmosphere it was such a climactic ending to a unexpected day.

Sunday. Sunday was...spiritual. Didn't go to church as planned but had the most sacred experience in a long time. On the drive up I-91 through CT to Amherst was a bit disheartening with endless down pours and the gloom & doom clouds hovering over us it was easy to say, "let's turn around and do this another day." No. I was determined and in desperate need to escape. Could not have picked a better time and place.

As soon as we arrived the flood gates ceased to remain open. We drove through UMass campus and I felt so nostalgic. The colors of the leaves all around us was overwhelming. Using both an atlas and satellite GPS on my tablet led us to backroads, country scenery and an apple farm. We picked our own apples in a field surrounded by fall foliage that would stop you in your tracks and create such a humbling feeling that results in a few tears shed. We snuck a quite snack in the car once we paid for our Empires and a slow shower began. 45 minutes traveling westward through the towns of  Haydenville, Chesterfield, Worthington, Cummington, Goshen and Williamsburg.

The weekend ended with a home cooked meal, lasagna. A dish I haven't had in years was much more than delicious but left a sense of new beginning. I see this weekend of 'newness' in a different perspective. You might call it enlightenment, awareness, insight or perhaps a element of nirvana. I think it was grace both from based upon faith understanding of the word and the moral understanding. Grace, simple to the most miraculous acts or circumstances, is taken for granted. I truly hope that the grace that was bestowed and continues to be given can provide someone like me the tools to deal with the day to day and all that becomes of my future.